The Ego and The Critic

Yesterday I was unhappy with 2 pieces of writing I tried to put together. One was a poem. It was the first of the 2. I intended to write the poem about a couple of boys; one who hated the rain and the other who didn't mind. The rain was meant to be symbolic of typical trials and tribulations of life. I stopped to re-read the poem shortly after I began and didn't like it. I decided to give up on it and return later.
The other of the 2 pieces I worked on yesterday was on not judging ourselves unfairly. It was to be an article for this blog. I intended to point out that I would not judge another person by their appearance or social standing. As in my experience I have met many people of whom I was taken back when I got to know them. They seemingly did not fit the perception I would have thought they would.
The lesson of not judging a book by its cover is one I believe we are all familiar with. However, many of us, myself included, judge ourselves by this unfair standard. I attach much of my self worth to what I am doing. I can sometimes see myself as lazy even though I would not make this asessment of another person.
This second piece of writing did not seem to meet my standards either. It was getting to be a little later in the morning by this time. I had taken time to do some reading in addition to the writing I had done. I had also poked around town more than once. I had plans for the afternoon to go on a hike and do some laundry. I thought to wait until after the community meal to spread out my activities throughout the day.
I unfortunately and somewhat ironically fell into a late morning slump. I say ironically because just as I was attempting to get across in the article of not judging yourself unfairly, I was down on myself. The feelings I was experiencing peaked at the noon hour. I chose to just lay down and pull my wool hat over my eyes.
I actually fell asleep which I often will not do when I lay down. I woke up at about 2:00 p.m. and felt great. I immediately wrote not caring how my work came out. I just kept my pen moving and was relieved to get my feelings down on paper. What I wrote became a rough draft for this article. After I wrote I did my laundry and carried on throughout the rest of the day.
This morning I looked back on what I wrote yesterday and can see it is not so bad. I even like the opening to the poem I started. There are parts of my article on self-criticism in this piece you are reading. What seemed to be insufficient at the time now appears much differently. I had to take time away from tasks I put in front of me to change my frame of mind. When I did it felt good to write. And I liked what I had written too. I just had to let go.