Seed of Recovery

As a young adult I tried very hard at being a good worker. I took pride in putting effort into any task an employer might have asked of me. And I enjoyed the challenge of maintaining a fast pace doing physical labor. I was happy in this time to be working and was respected by my peers.
I can remember specifically being a mover. I was roughly 19 when I had this job. I moved office furniture and much of it was quite heavy. I was scrawny but I put all the effort I had into my work. It was a good job all in all. I liked my co-workers and it paid pretty well. We even got paid for drive time. Having this job taught me what hard work was. I feel like it still benefits me today.
The work I have had to put into my recovery has been tremendous. It is however much different than the physical labor I did in my adolescence. It is not really demanding of your muscles like moving office furniture. It instead is emotionally demanding. The effort I've put into my recovery has spanned years. I have had to endure many setbacks.
I have had times in my recovery that I have appeared to be unmotivated. I can remember when my parents garage was being torn down. Friends and neighbors came out to tackle this project but I needed prompting to get out there and help. I can also remember a time in which my dad asked me to help him paint a spot on the house. I took frequent cigarette breaks and he was visibly frustrated.
I still know that what I was doing in that stage of my recovery was important. I was mending emotional scars. These scars are just like any injury or wound suffered by our bodies. We need to slowly rehabilitate to function at a normal level. The emotional scars left by schizophrenia on my person have taken years to mend. I now can see that I wasn't lazy in those times that I appeared unmotivated, I was just hurt.
I am proud of the effort I have put into my recovery. I know I have done my very best that I could, just like I did moving office furniture. The challenges of life still lay ahead of me. I have planted the seed I need to have a beautiful and flourishing "plant" sprout up out of the the earth. This seed of recovery will lead me to making an effort towards a life filled with happiness and health.