In my hardest times I believed I could or likely would be tortured. The delusions of schizophrenia even led me to believe that I could not even escape this through suicide. This was because I thought certain people had the power to bring others back to life. I believed if I committed suicide I would be brought back to life only to be tortured.
I believed people had other powers as well. I thought I myself could travel through time and fly. I used my ability to go back in time to teach Adolf Hitler, Napolean Bonaparte and Miyamoto Musashi how to be great warriors. My power of flight was not so reliable. My times that I did fly were infrequent; and I could not predict when or where this ability would be available.
I look back now at how far gone my mind was and wonder how I've come so far. My recovery is in my mind truly astonishing. I now have a grip on reality a mighty step in its own right. I am also now a published writer. This is without the benefit of a college degree. I say this because I want others to know that they do have something to hope for. I want my writing to be evidence that recovery is possible.
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