That I'm home for Thanksgiving I'm able to reflect on my recovery process. I can go to different places that have had some significance to my journey. I am able to see these places with new eyes. They are the eyes that have weathered a storm. They are wise eyes. I can see myself being in these places as I was at those times. I have compassion for that young man. I can understand how he was feeling and see why he took each step he did.
In going to these places I can see myself as a younger man. I was out at a peninsula where I once cut my wrist to attempt suicide. I saw myself being in that place now 5 years ago and wish I could have a talk with him. I would tell him that it is o.k. to fail. That life is a process of absorbing bumps and bruises; and if we give ourselves time we do see better things come our way. I would tell my younger self you are not alone.
I can't go back in time to tell myself what I needed to learn. I am not sure I would have listened. We need to experience failure. I think some need to experience more failure than others. I don't honestly know why. I do know that I am now better for having experienced my failures and setbacks. I am proud to have overcome the adversity I have. And maybe we need to see ourselves in this light of having dealt with difficulty. It is seeing ourselves overcome the obstacles that laid ahead of us that allows us to see that we are not alone.
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