Feelings of Guilt

I have reacted to false beliefs and paranoia I have from schizophrenia in ways I am not proud of. However, I no longer feel guilty. Schizophrenia can have a major effect on the decisions we make. On more than one occasion I have made decisions due to my paranoia and delusion that have landed me in jail. The road to recovery from schizophrenia has been hard and not just on myself. I have caused a great deal of hurt to my family. This is what I felt most guilty about.

It has taken some time to rid myself of the feelings of guilt I held. The process of personal realization that has led to acceptance of my circumstances took a lot of work. It has been in part aided by writing this blog. The writing process allows me to consistently express my experiences with schizophrenia. It helps me better understand what I have been through and what it has taken to be where I am. I have also made great strides towards acceptance in expressing how I have been affected by schizophrenia in conversations with peers and professionals.

I feel privileged to have such loving and caring parents to have stuck by me through it all. They have been my greatest teachers that I have ever known. Their compassion that they have for me is greater than I ever imagined it would be. My recovery means so much more to me that I have had the experience of seeing my parents sacrifice and give so much for my benefit.