When I Smoked

I picked up smoking cigarettes in 2006. I was in a correctional facility in north eastern Vermont at the time. I had always been a pot smoker and enjoyed the sensation of inhaling smoke. I traded food I purchased through commissary for hand rolled cigarettes. This was not the first time I had ever smoked a cigarette but it is when I formed the habit.

When I was released from jail I began smoking heavily. I continued smoking hand rolled cigarettes because they were all I could afford. The addiction now had a grip on me. I would continue to smoke for 5 more years.

In the next 5 years before I quit I really struggled with the addiction. Whenever I would go out to eat I would leave the table as soon as I was done eating. I let the addiction get in the way of enjoying the company I kept. At work I would take cigarette breaks every 30 minutes. Sometimes when there was no other option I would smoke butts I picked up off the ground. I have spent entire days walking around cities smoking what I picked up off the ground.

I tried quitting unsuccessfully once. I stayed quit for about a month. I went back to smoking starting with cigars. I thought I could not smoke habitually and just have a cigar now and then. I was wrong. I went back to cigarettes pretty quickly. I again was in denial about my addiction and thought I would eventually quit again if I hid that I was smoking.

Eventually I was able to successfully quit. It was not until this past spring that I did so. The main reason I quit was to improve my financial standing. Quitting is one of the best things I ever did. I am more solvent now. I am also more productive. I do not bide time between cigarettes anymore. I can stay at the dinner table and enjoy the company I am keeping. I am also much healthier.