The Mental Health System: My Point of View

In my years of dealing with schizophrenia I have been misdiagnosed, hospitalized, lived in group homes and attempted suicide. In this article I would like to report the experiences I have had in the mental health system. I will give mention to the places I have been, people I have met and the treatment I received.

I started seeing doctors about psychiatric issues at the age of 17. I had been in trouble with the law and was mandated to see Dr. Donnelly. I was counseled by Dr. Donnelly for a while but not diagnosed or given medication. I was misdiagnosed not too much later as having ADHD. This diagnosis was made by my primary care physician. I took Ritalin for a while for the supposed ADHD. I eventually stopped taking the medication on my own accord.

I went to the Howard Center at one point, although I only vaguely remember it. I was misdiagnosed again this time with having Aspergers. I dismissed this diagnosis and did not give it a second thought. I continued to struggle with the symptoms of schizophrenia that would take over in my life at the age of 22. I lost all ability to function normally. I was not diagnosed, however, until I was 27 years of age. This diagnosis came immediately after a suicide attempt. I was given this diagnosis at the Fletcher Allen Hospital in Burlington, VT, near where I grew up.

I was transferred out of the hospital to a sort-of respite home. I was still suicidal but made no serious attempt, although I did consider it. I was only in the respite home for maybe a week before I moved to Castleton, VT where there was a group home called 47 Main. 47 Main was in a beautiful a mansion in a rural Vermont town. The owner and director of 47 Main was Willem Leenman. The program at 47 Main was what they called a work program. We did carpentry and gardening much of the time. 47 Main provided a great environment in which to recover.

Unfortunately, 47 Main also had its flaws. In the work program there were no discussion groups. I think discussion groups are important in recovery because the participants learn in these groups what they are dealing with in recovery. There was also no therapist at 47 Main; I only saw a psychiatrist. Lastly, there were no peers working at 47 Main. I have found the presence of peer specialists to be tremendously helpful now that I have had the chance to work with some.

When I was at 47 Main I had a period of time, (approximately a month long), in which I did not sleep well. The added stress was too much for me to handle and I checked myself into the Rutland Regional Hospital. While I was there I told the staff of my beliefs that I had been an extremely important person. They never really asked me to explain any further how I got to be this person of great importance. When it came time for my discharge, the doctor and case manager met with Willem and me. The doctor and case manager tried to summarize what they thought I had to communicate with them but did so vaguely and inaccurately. It seemed like they were trying to sweep the symptoms of my illness under the rug. I have had similar experiences with other doctors as well. The psychiatrist that visited 47 Main was very ambiguous when responding to my question "what is schizophrenia?"

I have now had two more hospitalizations since going to Rutland. I had not once had any doctor try to explain to me what schizophrenia was, or the types of symptoms I might be experiencing. For a long time I did not even know what recovery was, let alone that I was in recovery. It seems like the common practice in the mental health field is to just medicate the patients and discharge them when you feel they are not a danger to themselves or others around them. It does not seem like anyone would care to take the time to treat the person as such, instead of treating the illness.