Mired

I look at the age of 22 as a turning point in my life. It was when I became to impaired by schizophrenia to function normally. I still wonder however if this was my first break. Is the on-set of an illness like schizophrenia an event or a process. The nature of schizophrenia lends it's self to a distorted impression of your past. Your delusions and actual experiences intermingle as you act on your false beliefs.
It was when I was 22 that I began studying strategy because I believed I had been a great warrior. I have hard evidence in a collection of books to prove this. However, my memory of my adolescence tells me that I was out spoken about my belief that I would be the next Adolf Hitler. And I know very well that I was looking into becoming a Mensa member; was this a result of delusions of grandeur?
I wasn't diagnosed with schizophrenia until I was 27 possibly more than 10 years after on-set. I have many questions as to what may or may not have occurred in that time. Central to my delusions were my promiscuity and fighting. I remember myself as a tremendously great fighter which I understand is mostly false if not entirely. I will never know fully well much of how I lived in my early adult hood. It is just too mired by my symptoms of schizophrenia.