Monday, January 7, 2013

My Story Untold

I have schizophrenia. One symptom of my illness that I have experienced is delusions of grandeur. I believed myself to have been a world leader when I was a young man. In my mind I had been a guerilla. One who had a tremendous following. I believed I had spoke to capacity crowds at Wembley Stadium. 
I resented my family for not knowing any of this about me. I wanted to share this with them but I didn't know where to begin or how they would take it. I kept my story bottled up. When I did finally try to tell my story at a psychiatric hospital those who I told simply put it in my file and left it at that. I was exiled from the rest of the world.
Try to imagine yourself in my shoes. I had been very successful as a public figure. I had made myself a billionaire. However, I had spent all my money on philanthropy. I was 22 years old and had nothing to show for having done one of the hardest working things anyone had ever undertaken. And no one close to me even knew that this had ever occurred. 
It seems that my parents should have been told the story I had shared with my doctors. I now know that it is not recommended that you try to challenge a patients beliefs or delusions. It can not be so that we just allow these issues to be unresolved until a major crisis results. This is however, exactly what has occurred in my journey to recovery.


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