I can remember a time when the symptoms of schizophrenia I experienced were pronounced. I came up with a plan to avoid a potential disaster. At the time I believed I might be severely tortured. I thought if I were to be homeless I would be left alone. I thought I would be safe.
It was a warm day during the tail end of winter here in Vermont. I hitch hiked roughly 40 miles to a nearby town (Barre) of the state capital. I went to this area of the state to get involved with politics. One of my symptoms of schizophrenia was delusion of grandeur. I believed I had had a political career earlier in life.
I arrived at the shelter in Barre and was admitted. I had money in a bank account but couldn't access it myself. And so I may have had $5 to live with. In addition to not having money I had no change of clothes, winter coat and would shortly run out of tobacco. I left without planning ahead, out of desperation. I needed help.
Things got worse from that point in time before they got better. I wonder now if I could have recovered form schizophrenia in a less painful and traumatic manner. I was then not aware of many available services or the nature of my illness.
It is experiences like this which fuel my desire to write for my blog. I believe I can make a difference. This blog is just a step in the right direction for me. I am pursuing a career in peer advocacy. I believe firmly that if the peer community must band together. If we all make an effort to improve existing services of mental health treatment things could get much better.
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